Who are you taking for granted?

Before you read this, sit a minute and reflect on whether you’ve taken someone for granted. Be it your family, your friends, or even a stranger; and if your answer is “Nah I don’t think I’ve taken anyone for granted,” you, my dear friend, are wrong.

We’ve always taken someone for granted in our lives. Not consciously. But we have. The easiest of all people to think of is family. We take our family for granted the most. Because you know that no matter what you’ll do, they will be there for you and not stop loving you.

I never thought of this until I moved out of my house to go study in the UK. Before that, I had mom do the cooking as soon as I came home from college. Or dad hand me cash if I ran out of money. With no questions asked and no complaints. Once I moved out, I had to do my own cooking, cleaning, laundry, handling money…and that’s when I realised how they silently played a prominent role. And I know many people would think, “But they’re your parents…they have to do it.” Do they? We all claim we’re adults after 18 and ask them to keep out of our shit. But we don’t realise how they’re actually helping us.

The same goes with friends. And with friends, it’s slightly more complicated. Because they can actually just leave and cut you out of their lives or vice versa. Your 2am friend you call when you’re going through a break-up? Ever bothered to ask if they’re busy? I know it’s not a norm. But lack of empathy is showing more prominence in the world today. Lack of sensibility. Lack of understanding. We go and do things without thinking, and hurt the people we love the most. Just because we’re that selfish.

A classic example of this is teenagers eating Tide Pods. Yeah that’s stupid. Beyond stupid. But so is making decisions that you know will hurt your family and friends. I think the only time you can be selfish, is if it’s not going to affect your sanity, and not going to taint a deep, meaningful relationship. Yes, we have to be selfish sometimes. But not to the extent of ignoring blatant facts around how your decision could be a mistake.

I think this was more of a rant. Based on discussions with various people. Life changing decisions can be…confusing. But if you have a good friend or family who’s able to give you a valid perspective on how good or bad that decision is…I would at least consider it. They’re saying it because they care. Yes, family and friends are supposed to be supportive. But if you’re going to say “Hey I’m going to kill someone“…they’re not going to come back to you and say “I fully support you on that!” They’re probably going to slap you.

That’s what a good relationship is about. A good relationship is about providing a valid perspective that puts you on the right path. Not blind support.

As my father rightly advised me,

“Suggestions from people are not in your control. But the decision is entirely under your control.”

So listen, and do what you want. But closely listen to the people you know want good things for you. It’s hard to believe, but they actually do exist!

Since it’s been a while, I’m going to share a song that made me feel grateful for all the good people in my life. Happy Thursday y’all!